


Never Met A Devil Like You

by RiptidesBoyfriend



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Gender-Neutral Pronouns, MC has magic, Multi, Other, and throw in lucifer too bc im gay AND greedy, and youre into diavolo, barbatos thats who, but if im into diavolo, if solmare wont let me be gay for diavolo, office romance but for college students, then i will just write it myself, whos gonna do all this paperwork
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:54:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27168232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiptidesBoyfriend/pseuds/RiptidesBoyfriend
Summary: All you wanted was to graduate in peace and settle down in some nice, quiet town, working in a library far, far away from anything remotely magical, supernatural, or otherwise out of the ordinary. Instead you're stuck playing assistant to the lord of all demons and his right hand man. You'd always had it drilled into your head that making a deal with a demon was one of the worst choices you could ever make, but if it means getting to live debt free, with the guarantee of never having to see any of them again, then it just might be worth it.
Relationships: Diavolo (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Diavolo/Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Diavolo/Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 49





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Edited on 10/28/20 for some grammatical errors and to change some of the wording here and there.

The first time you'd seen the rising purple wisps indicative of an opening portal, you'd instinctively stomped down, letting loose a wave of raw magic to disperse it before it could fully form. It hadn't been the most elegant of solutions but it had done the job and considering how long it had been since you last tapped into your powers it wasn't too bad. 

The second time you were a little more prepared, actually throwing out a spell to wash away all traces of the foreign magic circling on your floor, the purple mist vanishing in a brilliant burst of light, leaving you to finish your dinner in peace.

By the third time it happened you were more than a little irritated, taking the time to weave together a few spells in the hopes of not only dissipating the forming portal but also giving whoever was on the other side a reason to think twice before trying again. You'd watched with no small amount of satisfaction as the half-formed portal seemingly folded in on itself, vanishing from your sight with a small pop, and if you had done your calculations correctly (which of course you had), opening back up in the local junkyard. The thought of whoever was on the other side having to deal with the sudden rush of broken appliances, abandoned furniture, and other detritus brought you no small amount of satisfaction.

The next few tries fell along the same lines, the individual (or was it individuals, plural?) on the other side trying to contact you, you going out of your way to inconvenience them in as harmless but annoying a way as possible. By the time finals had rolled around, the portals abruptly stopped showing up, a fact you were thankful for and too busy to stop and question. Letting down your guard like that ended up being your downfall and when you'd gone to collapse on your bed after finally finishing the last of your schoolwork for the year, rather than falling onto your bed amongst your crumpled sheets, you'd fallen through the gap between time and space, freefalling through endless darkness interspersed with the faint light of distant portals winking into existence and fading away once more. You knew firsthand that traveling this way was instantaneous though it always felt much, much longer and you braced yourself for the inevitable impact as the tail end of your detour grew closer, the light emanating from the other side illuminating you in a soft glow. You squeezed your eyes shut and the alien sensation of something cold trickling down the length of your spine indicated that you were finally passing back into the physical realm. Rather than hit the ground with an almighty splat, as you expected, there was a grunt as someone caught you, hardly shifting at all even as they took the brunt of the impact.

You took a moment to orientate yourself, always a little woozy after going through a portal, while doing your level best to ignore the very firm, very muscular arms wrapped around your shoulders and under your knees, cradling you to an equally firm, equally muscular chest. You inhaled deeply, holding your breath for a few seconds before letting out a long, drawn-out sigh.

"What in the fresh hell do you want?” You’d finally opened your eyes, settling into a glare as you batted at the hands still firmly wrapped around you, squirming angrily until you were finally set down. You made a show of moving away and brushing down your clothes, deliberately avoiding looking at the perpetrator just to drive home how beneath your notice they were at the moment. You may have been wildly out of practice but in terms of raw power, there were very few who could beat you, regardless of technique, so you were hardly worried about your safety. You were mostly just irritated that your post-finals nap had been interrupted before it could even start.

A polite cough drew your attention away from picking at your clothing and you looked up sharply. Standing before you was a trio of well-dressed men, the two in similar black uniforms flanking a man wearing a vivid scarlet coat. He seemed to be the one who had cleared his throat and judging by his proximity to you he was probably the one who had caught you as well. Seeing that you were finally looking his way his already bright smile somehow kicked up a notch. 

"It’s so good to finally meet you. Welcome to the Devildom." He held out a hand for you to shake and his smile didn't falter when you eyed it then turned your head up, defiantly crossing your arms. The man to his left however seemed to take offense on his behalf, his deadpan expression narrowing into a pinched look of thinly veiled anger. The smiling man let his hand drop, tucking it behind his back with its twin in a smooth, practiced motion. 

“You’re an incredibly difficult person to get a hold of, you know.” He had yet to let the veneer of polite, detached happiness drop, but the other man’s rising ire was clear. 

“Yes well I try to be impossible to get a hold of at all…” you trailed off, eyebrow raising expectantly as he tilted his head, processing your unspoken question. 

“Forgive me, I’ve forgotten my manners. Allow me to introduce my companions, to my right here is Barbatos, my steward.” The man with the teal fringe ducked his head in greeting. “And my companion on the left here is Lucifer, avatar of pride, my right-hand man, and my closest friend.” 

Lucifer, who had spent the entirety of the introduction making a displeased expression at you, seemed torn between continuing to look at you with disdain and responding to the other man’s declaration, face spasming for the briefest of moments before he settled into a weary frown. “Please, flattery will get you nowhere.”

The man in red just laughed, reaching back to pat Lucifer’s shoulder before letting his hands fall behind him again as he turned to face you, with a much more serious expression than before. “And I am Diavolo, the lord of all demons and soon to be king of the Devildom.”

Your lips, pressed together in a firm scowl, went slack with surprise before you schooled your expression back to one of minor indifference. As confident as you were in your natural abilities, there wasn't much you could do besides defend yourself against the lord of all demons, even if you had kept up with your practice. There was also very little you could get away with without facing serious repercussions, though if he had sought you out knowing who you were then he was also aware that that was a two-way street; Diavolo couldn't do much more than try to intimidate you unless he wanted to invite trouble. “And what does the future king want with a college student?”

Like a switch had been flipped he smiled again, laughing joyfully as he gave you a knowing look. “But you’re not _just_ a college student, are you?” You flinched but he didn’t pause to comment on it, continuing on as if you hadn’t reacted at all. “That’s precisely why I wanted to talk to you. You see, I have a proposition that I think you’ll find most agreeable.” For the first time since you’d arrived, he let his glamour slip, horns materializing as his wings unfurled behind him, narrowly missing his companions. His clothes seemingly melted away, leaving him in nothing but a loose pair of black pants lined with gold and a fur shawl draped across his shoulders, clasped together with a large, golden brooch, along with matching bracers and a choker. There was the slightest flicker of hellfire in his eyes as he spoke and the power of his presence filled the room. “Lucifer can explain the details but the basics of it are this; I want to bring the Devildom, the Celestial Realm, and the human world together.”

At this point he stepped back, making room for Lucifer to move closer, his demonic form falling away and with it the excess of magical energy that hung in the air after his display. "As Lord Diavolo has already said, we wish to strengthen our ties with the other two realms, and at this point in time, we aim to send two pairs of exchange students to each realm and in return welcome two sets of students to the Devildom. We are not so unfamiliar with angels as to be unable to accommodate them but humans are another matter entirely. This is where you come in."

You held up a hand to signal for him to stop, waiting to speak until all three were looking at you expectantly. "Listen, before you go any further, I'm telling you right now that I'm not going to accept."

Lucifer, who'd already looked rather sour at being interrupted, moved as if to step close enough to loom over you, but the third demon placed a placating hand on his shoulder, drawing his attention away from you. "I understand you may be reluctant to work with demons, but I promise you we mean you no harm."

"Please, there's nothing you can do to me that would not be returned twofold, that's not even a remote concern. Let me be clear then; there's nothing you can say or do to sway me. I want nothing to do with magic, demonic or otherwise, and I've already got responsibilities back in the human world."

Lucifer, having previously relented under Barbatos' unspoken reprieve, spoke up once more. "And what could be so important that you'd reject a missive from the prince of Hell?"

You frowned at him, gaze equally hostile. "A master's degree in library sciences."

Lucifer stared at you, a single eyebrow raised in disbelief. Diavolo, either unaware or uncaring of the way you two were staring each other down, clapped his hands together excitedly. "Ah but you see, we can help you with that! A sort of tit for tat, if you will."

You snorted, tearing your gaze away from Lucifer to turn it towards Diavolo instead. "If I'd wanted to just magic up a degree and credentials I would've done that already and I'm not about to sell my soul to get into grad school."

He laughed, looking far too delighted in the face of your disdain. "No, nothing like that at all. Despite what you may think, we do have legitimate means of helping you to pad out your resume. If you agree to come aboard as an advisor, then we can sign off as you having been interning for a very prestigious learning institution." You eyed him warily, and he seemed to sense your doubt, as his megawatt smile somehow brightened further. "We will also pay you _quite_ handsomely for your services."

You visibly wavered before sighing and letting your shoulders slump slightly from their rigid position. “Fine. Give me your whole spiel. But if I don’t like what you have to say, then we’re done here.”

Diavolo nodded, gesturing for Lucifer to step forward once more. “All I ask is that you listen.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of this chapter takes place via text so for reference Lucifer texting is in _italics_ and your replies are in **bold**

You held up two shirts, debating silently over which one to pack. After a few seconds, you gave up on picking and decided to just toss both into your luggage. It wasn’t as if you lacked room in your bag anyways, considering it had been enchanted to hold much, _much_ more than you were planning on taking with you. It had been a gift from Diavolo, who had insisted you take it despite your protests, and admittedly it had made the packing process much easier.

You'd already stuffed a dozen textbooks, your laptop, and all its accessories, over half your wardrobe, what few remaining magical artifacts you still owned, and a number of other little things you thought you'd need into it and it still wasn't close to full capacity. You were likely to be too busy with your duties overseeing the development of the exchange program to do much of anything else, but you'd rather be prepared for any eventuality than risk being caught unawares and if that meant taking along most of your belongings, then so be it.

You'd already gone through the process of contacting the handful of people you'd needed to let know you'd be leaving, telling them that you'd be gone for the summer at an internship that you were unable to talk about at this time. You'd additionally arranged to have a friend stop by your home every so often to water your plants and keep an eye on things and you'd temporarily canceled all your various subscriptions, having no way of accessing them in the Devildom and therefore no need to continue paying. All that was left to do was pack away the few things you hadn't already stuffed into your bag, which should hopefully go quickly as you didn't want to keep your guest waiting.

Barbatos was currently sitting in your living room, perched on the couch with a steaming mug in his hands, having accepted your offer of tea. You'd only just agreed to Diavolo's proposal three days ago but the prince of Hell was eager to get things started and had kindly, but firmly insisted that you return as soon as possible, and you'd immediately started making preparations when they'd returned you to your home that night. Barbatos had been sent today to help facilitate the move and make the overall transition as easy as possible.

You placed the last item in the bag and zipped it shut, stepping back with a satisfied sigh and your hands on your hips as you surveyed your room for what would be the last time this summer. You lingered for a few moments, then hauled your bag up onto your shoulder, stepping out into the hallway and shutting your bedroom door behind you.

You were surprised to see that Barbatos had left the living room, but the sound of running water quickly cued you into his whereabouts. Peeking into the kitchen, you watched as he shut off the sink, procuring a towel from out of thin air to dry the mug he'd just washed.

"You didn't have to do that, you're a guest." You frowned lightly, setting your bag down before stepping into the kitchen.

"Nonsense, it was no trouble at all. Consider it my thanks for the tea." He placed the mug back into its proper spot on the shelf, drying cloth dissapearing into the depths of his coat, then nodded at the bag. "I assume you're ready to leave then?" 

You nodded back and he picked up the bag, politely waving off your protests. With a wave of his hand, a wisp of purple magic swirled through the air, forming a circle that expanded out until it was large enough to accommodate both your heights. He stepped back and gestured you forward.

Compared to last time, your landing was much smoother. Falling through an endless void lit up by nothing but distant pinpoints of light was always unsettling but stepping through willingly was leagues better than unexpectedly tumbling through. Coming out the other end, tingles racing up your spine, you found yourself standing in a vast foyer, gilded entirely in glittering gold and decorated with intricate tapestries, a large, gleaming chandelier hanging overhead. 

Barbatos was quick to follow and there was a faint pop as the portal he'd conjured up vanished from existence. He made a motion for you to follow him and the two of you set off through the castle. During the negotiations, Diavolo had insisted that you stay in his castle rather than on school grounds, an insistence that you'd felt no need to protest. A room had been prepared for you and that's where Barbatos was leading you now, providing something of an impromptu tour along the way. He pointed out some of the more relevant rooms, listing off their purposes, and gave you background information regarding the various artifacts and art pieces scattered throughout the hallways, promising you a more thorough tour after you'd settled in.

You did your best to keep track of where you were going, making note of landmarks you could use to try and guide yourself back later, but there were more than a few turns and by the time Barbatos stopped in front of what was to be your room during your stay you were quite thoroughly lost. Producing a small key, Barbatos unlocked the door with a quiet click, swinging it open and graciously allowing you to step through first. Following in after you he set your bag down by a luxurious looking canopy bed that looked large enough to fit five of you, with room to spare. He then crossed over to the desk on the other side of the room, setting down the key along with the D.D.D. you'd been promised. Turning back around to face you, he tucked one arm behind him, the other crossed against his chest, fingers held together in a loose fist.

"Please, take this time to unpack and make your room more to your liking. I'll be back in a few hours to fetch you for dinner but should you need anything before then, don't hesitate to contact me. Your D.D.D. already contains my number, as well as Lucifer’s and Lord Diavolo's." He gave you a slight bow, then walked past you out the door, closing it behind him.

Alone now, you decided to investigate your room more thoroughly. A quick walkabout revealed a walk-in closet that was half the size of your room back home, twin nightstands on either side of the bed, a small lamp on the upper shelf of the desk, and a bookshelf that was nearly tall enough to reach the ceiling. Most of its shelves were empty, leaving room for your own books and knick-knacks, but there were a few unfamiliar books at the very bottom. Scanning the titles, you concluded that they were all about the history of the Devildom and you made a mental note to yourself to check them out later. Further exploration revealed that the drawers of the nightstands and desk were all empty and besides the lamp on the desk, there were no additional furnishings.

Satisfied with what you'd seen so far, you pushed open the door to the ensuite bathroom. If the main room was luxurious then the bathroom was the height of decadence. At the far end was a showerhead built into the wall and encased in opaque glass, and between that and the door was a bathtub that more closely resembled a small swimming pool than any bathtub you’d ever seen. The sink counter was large enough for half a dozen people to stand together at it comfortably and the entirety of the wall above it was covered in a mirror. While you had brought your own toiletries they had apparently seen fit to provide some for you, to a degree that was absurd. There was an overwhelming variety of products lining the counter, ranging from lotions to bath bombs, some identifiable as originating from the human world and others clearly being of a more supernatural make. A quick peek into the door at the end of the sink revealed a toilet and another set of cabinets, presumably there to store even more soaps and shampoos.

Having satisfied your curiosity you set about unpacking, tucking your clothes away into the closet, and placing your personal effects around the room in an effort to make it feel more like home. Once you were done with that you finally picked up your D.D.D. You spent a few minutes familiarizing yourself with how it worked, though it was so similar to how human phones worked that you picked it up in no time. Many of the apps that had come pre-downloaded looked like knockoffs of the ones you were used to and they operated in much the same way. After spending a good thirty minutes scrolling aimlessly through various social media apps you were surprised to see a notification pop up. You'd hardly been expecting any texts from the three contacts you had in the Devildom, but you'd expected one from Lucifer least of all. Your D.D.D. chimed again before you could even open the first text and you quickly tapped open your messages.

_I trust that, starting today, you will be putting your best foot forward so that you do not embarrass Lord Diavolo._

_I hope that your summer with us proves to be a productive one._

His wording was less than polite and more than a little irritating but considering how poorly your introduction had gone (notwithstanding the fact that technically your first interaction, and the several following it, had involved you dumping trash into the Devildom) you decided to let it go this time. It’d be another matter entirely if he continued to be hostile during your interactions but there was no harm in trying to smooth things over before then, especially since you were meant to be working closely with him for the next three months. 

**I have every intention of performing my duties to the utmost of my abilities.**

It probably made no difference to him but just leaving it at that felt slightly too impersonal to you, so you tacked on a second message.

**I look forward to working with you.**

You put the D.D.D. down, assuming the conversation was over, but the cheerful chime indicated that you’d received another text. Surprised, you picked it back up and reopened your messaging app.

_I look forward to working with you as well._

Huh. Perhaps working here wouldn’t be so bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Diavolo wanted to leave you little bottles of lotion and stuff like how they do in a human hotel but somehow Asmo got involved and Lucifer spent three agonizing hours making sure that Asmo didn't A) say something suggestive to Diavolo/try to snap a pic of or with him and B) didn't buy anything weird for their guest.

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies if Lucifer seems ooc, I know he's not that hostile when you first meet in game but I figure after literal months of you sending garbage down their inter-dimensional portals he'd be pretty pissed lol. I've been kicking around ideas for this for a little while and finally sat down and typed out the first chapter. I've got a general idea for where I want this story to go and it's mostly just a matter of finding the time/energy to write it all. In the meantime you can find more of my writing on tumblr @zorosboyfriend for multifandom stuff including OM and @ratchetsboyfriend for just transformers


End file.
